


I Wish the Real World Would Just Stop Hassling Me

by wherehopelies



Series: If You Want, We'll Share This Life (When Nobody Understands You, Well, I Do) [4]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Guardian Angels, Soulmate AU, bemily are human disasters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 14:06:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13976709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wherehopelies/pseuds/wherehopelies
Summary: "Being a guardian angel is kind of the worst. Especially when you’re designated Human is the disaster that is Beca Mitchell."For Bemily Week Day 4 - Soulmates





	I Wish the Real World Would Just Stop Hassling Me

Amy hates her job. It’s  _ soooooooo _ boring.

All she does all day every day is watch her Human live an especially pathetic life. 

Being a guardian angel is kind of the worst.

Especially when you’re designated Human is the disaster that is Beca Mitchell.

//

Okay, so it could be worse. She could be on Deathgate Duty, or Karma Patrol, or the absolute worst option, PetLand. She has  _ zero _ desire to clean up after people’s pets who have passed on. No fucking thanks.

Being a guardian angel wouldn’t really be that bad, honestly. She gets to interfere sometimes, like when her Human gets herself into a sticky situation before it’s her Time. 

But her Human this go around is like, the most boring and pathetic Human that has ever existed. All she does is sit in front of her laptop with her headphones on, drinking way too much coffee and eating way too many Reese’s Cups. 

Her last Human was one of those Adrenaline Junkies, so needless to say, Beca Mitchell is one hell of a downgrade.

//

Perhaps the only interesting part of being a guardian angel is the whole soulmate thing. 

Or well, it would be interesting, except her Human’s soulmate is even more disastrous and pathetic than her Human is. 

Amy guesses that’s why they’re soulmates or something, but GOD (literally… Big Man are you listening? can she please get a transfer?) watching these lives is becoming excruciating.

Beca’s soulmate is Emily Junk and in Amy’s opinion, she’s a fucking moron. She’s clumsy and weird and has a little too much pep for Amy. She’s also not particularly bright. At least Emily’s guardian angel is fun. Stacie’s good for a laugh or two, which is always a plus when you’re employed in Eternity. 

The days tend to drag.

//

“Alright Angels, today’s the day!”

Amy and Stacie stop their gossip of the other Angels in their division to turn around from the control desk.

Their supervisor is standing in front of them with a clipboard, looking much too excited. It’s a pretty typical expression for Chloe Beale, Soulmate Manager, who loves her job so much you’d think she was born for it.

Chances are, she probably was.

“What’s today?” Amy asks dryly. “Two of your Humans finally did the nasty?”

“No!” Chloe grins, completely undeterred. “Today is The Meeting!”

“That’s today?” Stacie gasps. “Wow the days all blend together. For some reason I thought it was next year.”

Chloe bounces on her feet and pulls up a chair, clapping her hands in anticipation. “Nope, it’s today.” She sighs dreamily. “I love The Meeting. It’s always so romantic.”

Right. The Meeting. When Humans meet their soulmate for the first time. Amy groans. That means today is the start of when she’ll have to watch that giggly loser Emily interact with her Human for their rest of their short lives.

Just great.

Well, at least there’s a good chance Beca will leave her house today. So, there’s always that.

“Alright,” Chloe beams, scooting closer to the control panel in her chair. “Places everyone! It’s showtime! The day has begun!”

//

For Beca Mitchell, it is going to be a Very Important Day.

Probably the most important day of her life.

Because today is the day she finally has her interview for her dream job - music producer.

Yes… she thinks. Today is a Very Important Day.

//

For Emily Junk, it was like any other Tuesday.

She got up, had her oatmeal breakfast, showered, and left the house by 8AM. 

She went to class, met up with some friends, did her homework at her favorite coffee shop. 

Yes… it was just like any other Tuesday.

//

Beca walks into the coffee shop feeling pretty pleased with herself. She nailed that interview, even if she was a little awkward.

The execs doing the screening were definitely impressed with her work and her credentials.

And now she’s gonna treat herself with a latte.

She grabs her coffee, turns around, and sees -

Her favorite chair in the back corner, completely empty and open for the taking. 

Yes, today is a good day.

//

Emily finishes her homework and her coffee and puts her headphones in, ready to go home.

It’s been a long day, and she’s ready for dinner and to go to bed.

She pushes out of the coffee shop door and starts to walk back home, just like any other Tuesday.

//

When Beca leaves the coffee shop, she’s lost in her brain, thinking about a new mix and what she’s going to have for dinner.

That’s why she doesn’t see where she’s going, and rams straight into someone.

A very cute someone.

“Ow, oh no… sorry!” The person says and Beca blinks because this person is like, way attractive.

“Uh,” she coughs. “Yeah. Yeah no problem.”

The girl smiles bashfully, pushing her blonde hair out of her face. “My bad. You’d be surprised how often that happens to me…”

“No problem,” Beca says again. “It’s cool.”

Then they go their separate ways, and Beca heads home, where she puts on a comfy pair of sweats and settles down to work on her mix.

//

Emily has mac and cheese for dinner. It’s delicious.

Then she crawls into bed and watches a few episodes of  _ Brooklyn Nine-Nine  _ on Netflix before going to sleep.

//

“Uh… you know, I’m fine with whatever happening, really, but I think… something isn’t right here,” Amy says, peering down at the control panel in front of her. 

Her Human and her soulmate are both in bed for the night… and they didn’t meet at all.

“I…” Chloe frowns, flipping through the papers on her clipboard. “This wasn’t supposed to happen!”

“Emily really needs to eat less mac and cheese,” Stacie absentmindedly says to herself.

Beside Amy, Chloe’s frantically typing into her Communicator. “I don’t get it. Today was the assigned day!”

There’s a beep from the device and Chloe’s face goes white.

“There was interference… Apparently an Unauthorized Save was performed twenty minutes away that set off a chain of events and messed everything up.”

“So…” Stacie says. “What do we do?”

Chloe throws her hands in the air. “I don’t know! This has never happened before. I think I’ll have to contact the Director.”

Amy scowls. She hates the Director.

“Orrrrr, we could just… restart the day,” she suggests.

Chloe’s mouth falls open. “We can’t do a Restart without consent from the Director.”

Amy rolls her eyes. “Well it’s not our fault and they’re gonna authorize it anyway… they always do in these situations. And waiting for consent could take days, and then by the time we restart so much will have happened…”

“You know... I think Amy has a point, Chloe,” Stacie nods in agreement. “What if we put in the proper paperwork, but we just… do it anyway?”

Chloe looks torn and Amy scoffs, deciding to take it into her own hands. “Okay, well while you bitches discuss that…”

She turns back to the control panel and lifts the emergency glass over the giant red Restart button. 

Then she pushes it.

//

For Beca Mitchell, it was going to be a Very Important Day.

Probably the most important day of her life.

Because today is the day she finally has her interview for her dream job - music producer.

Yes… she thinks. Today is a Very Important Day.

//

For Emily Junk, it was like any other Tuesday.

She got up, had her oatmeal breakfast, showered, and left the house by 8AM. 

She went to class, met up with some friends, did her homework at her favorite coffee shop. 

Yes… it was just like any other Tuesday.

//

“AMY!”

“What?”

Chloe’s gaping at the control panel, the beginnings of the same day sprawled in front of them once again. “You didn’t… You can’t!”

Amy shrugs. “Too late, Red. I did.”

“I am so getting fired for this.”

//

“DO SOMETHING!” Amy shouts at the control panel screen after having watched her Human and her Human’s stupid soulmate live the exact same day again. “YOU’RE THE MOST BORING LOSERS ON THE PLANET!”

“Amy,” Chloe pinches her nose. “This is why we can’t just restart without Director approval. Why did you think anything would change?”

Amy has no answer to that so she just grumbles to herself. Stacie however, hums thoughtfully. “Well of course nothing changed. We didn’t change it!”

Chloe shoots her a confused look but Stacie’s already grinning and reaching for the red Restart button.

“Stacie n-”

And she pushes it.

//

For Beca Mitchell, it was going to be a Very Important Day.

Probably the most important day of her life.

Because today is the day she finally has her interview for her dream job - music producer.

Yes… she thinks. Today is a Very Important Day.

//

For Emily Junk, it was like any other Tuesday.

She got up, had her oatmeal breakfast, showered, and left the house by 8AM. 

She went to class, met up with some friends, did her homework at her favorite coffee shop. 

Yes… it was just like any other Tuesday.

//

Chloe screams.

//

“Good thinking, Legs,” Amy grins and Stacie winks at her.

“I’m full of ideas, Ames. Full of ‘em.”

//

But maybe not so much.

After a whole day of altering little things to change the direction their Humans are going (without compromising their Free Will, of course), they still haven’t met.

Amy had moved a public trash can one inch to the left so Beca would hit it with her elbow and spill coffee on herself and have to go home and change and therefore skip steps in her day.

Stacie had silenced Emily’s phone so she never received a call from her friend and went to the library instead of the coffee shop to do homework.

They’d manipulated plants, weather, inanimate objects of all shapes and sizes, and  _ still _ their Humans didn’t meet.

What the fuck?!

//

“I’m sorry, what did you  _ think  _ would happen?” Chloe huffs. “You can only manipulate outside circumstances and not their Free Will. This is why you need  _ sanctioned approval _ !”

Amy rolls her eyes and presses the Restart button again just to spite Chloe.

//

For Beca Mitchell, it was going to be a Very Important Day.

Probably the most important day of her life.

Because today is the day she finally has her interview for her dream job - music producer.

Yes… she thinks. Today is a Very Important Day.

//

“AGH SHE’S SO BORING I CAN’T STAND IT!” Amy yells, watching Beca do the same morning routine for the third time on the same day. “I want to kill her!”

So she does.

//

“AMY IF YOU PRESS THAT ONE MORE TIME I AM GO-”

“Going to what?”

They all whip around to see a tall blonde with a very stern expression staring coldly at them.

Amy smiles innocently. “Hello Director.”

“What’s this I’m seeing here?” She looks at the control panel, where their fourth attempt at the same day is beginning to play out. Beca’s just waking up and going about her Very Important Day. “Chloe…” The Director turns to the usually chipper Supervisor. “What is the meaning of this?”

“Aubrey… it’s nothing. We just had… a slight… hiccup. You know how these things go.”

“I don’t actually.” And she looks at Chloe so disappointedly that even Amy feels bad for the Angel.

She rolls her eyes and lets out an exaggerated sigh. “Look Director. Please turn your attention to my designated Human.” She nods her head toward the control panel. “Just look at. Her piercings and her surly attitude and her awful wardrobe. Don’t you just want to… kill her?”

Aubrey raises an eyebrow coldly, but Amy sees her look at her Human with clear disdain.

“No,” Aubrey grits out. “That would be against protocol. And if I hear that you do something like that again, you will all be demoted.”

Chloe is stricken, her love for her job probably one of her most passionate personality traits. Amy sighs.

“No problem, boss. We wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Good…” Aubrey gives them all another cold glare before briskly leaving the room. 

“Well,” Amy says. “Wouldn’t dream of it more than once more for old time’s sake.”

And she pushes the Restart Button.

//

For Beca Mitchell, it was going to be a Very Important Day.

Probably the most important day of her life.

Because today is the day she finally has her interview for her dream job - music producer.

Yes… she thinks. Today is a Very Important Day.

//

For Emily Junk, it was like any other Tuesday.

She got up, had her oatmeal breakfast, showered, and left the house by 8AM. 

She went to class, met up with some friends, did her homework at her favorite coffee shop. 

Yes… it was just like any other Tuesday.

//

Beca leaves her interview feeling very confused. 

She thinks she performed well and will hopefully get the job, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of deja vu that had kept washing over her every few minutes.

She thinks maybe she needs to get out of the house more.

She’s starting to lose it.

//

“Okay, so after assessing the probable outcomes of all the scenarios, I’ve determined the path that will most likely lead to their Meeting,” Stacie says, chewing on a pen and leaning over the control panel.

Chloe seems near hysterics at this point. “I don’t care! Just do it!”

“Okay, no need to shriek,” Stacie murmurs, giving Amy a look and doing the crazy gesture near her ear. “Alright, Phase One, begin!”

//

“Blowing a gust of wind in three… two… one…”

//

Emily’s reading over her homework sheet when she steps out of the coffee shop.

It’s a beautiful day, sunny blue skies and very mild. She hums to herself, headphones in as she walks. 

She’s squinting down at the paper, thinking she sees an error in her work, when a large gust of wind comes out of nowhere and whips around her. The paper flies out of her hands and down the sidewalk. She gasps, and takes off at a run, moving around people and chasing it as it flutters almost unnaturally away from her.

“No no no no!”

She finally catches up to it right before it flies into the middle of a busy street.

“Phew,” she breathes out, clutching the paper to her chest. She quickly stuffs it into her bag before it has a chance to blow away again.

Then she looks around her. This isn’t the way she typically goes home, but maybe a nice change of scene could be good for her?

She turns down the street, humming to herself again as she walks.

//

“Phase One complete,” Stacie grins. “Now for Phase Two.”

“My body is ready,” Amy says.

Chloe groans.

//

“There she is! And he’s coming… open the door!”

Stacie slams her hand on the control panel.

//

Beca’s about to enter her favorite coffee shop when the door swings open unnaturally quickly and slams into her.

“Oomph,” she grunts as a man comes through. He’s looking in confusion at the door like he’s never opened one before. Fucking moron. “Watch it dude,” she mutters, rubbing at her arm.

He gives her a glare. “Are you looking for a fight?”

“What?” Beca scowls. He looks like an infant. Or some nerdy cop. “Are you threatening me?”

“Do you want me to?” He asks, his voice suddenly genuine. “Come on, punch me!”

What the fuck…

“Please!” The man begs. “Right in the schnoz.”

Beca just wants her damn coffee. She sighs, hefts her bag over her shoulders, and -

Punches the dude straight in the face.

//

“OH SHIT!” Amy yells, leaning forward. 

She suddenly has way more respect for her Human.

//

The man falls to the ground with a groan and Beca shrugs.

“Hey, that’s assault!” Someone yells and Beca looks around.

“He asked me to!” She calls to whoever it was, but she can’t pinpoint exactly who it was, and there’s a lot of people on their cell phone around. A feeling of regret passes over her. “Fuck.”

And she books it out of there.

//

“Hm not how I saw Phase Two going, but it was nevertheless successful,” Stacie nods, impressed.

  
“This is truly the worst day,” Chloe whines, her head in her hands.

Amy offers her some popcorn. 

//

Emily’s walking back to her apartment, enjoying her new route. She doesn’t usually go this way but it’s not so bad!

Suddenly, she notices a large bus pass by in her periphery and she minutely turns to look at it. Which turns out to be a mistake.

“AH!”

She tries to cover her face, but as the bus passes, it goes over a large puddle of water, sending a wave of it in Emily’s direction. It washes over her, drenching her to the bone.

She stands there, shocked, dripping, and cold.

Very cold.

//

“Ooh, did you do that Amy?” Stacie turns to her.

“Nah, that was just Earth doing its thing.”

“Classic,” Stacie laughs. “Just classic.”

//

Beca pants and looks over her shoulder, slowing down as she gets to a bench.

She thinks she’s run far enough that she hopefully won’t get arrested?

She plops down on the bench and strips her leather jacket off, now that she’s all hot and sweaty from her run.

//

“Umm. Chloe.”

“What?” Chloe snaps, her face still hidden in her hands. 

“It’s about to happen.”

Chloe sighs. “I don’t care, Stacie. Whatever your next phase is, just do it. I don’t care.”

“No,” Amy shakes her. “Not a Phase… The Meeting.”

Chloe glances up. “The Meeting?”

“Yeah,” Stacie beams. “THE Meeting.”

“Holy shit.”

//

There’s water in Emily’s shoes. It’s really not comfortable and she’s shivering.

She breaks for the nearest bench and sits down next to another girl, who seems to be breathing heavily and sweating profusely. 

Emily doesn’t give a poop right now, to be honest.

She takes her shoes off one by one and dumps the water out before putting them back on her feet. Then she wrings out her soaking hair.

The rest… well. Not much she can do about that right now.

When she finally looks up, the girl next to her is inspecting her hand. It appears to be bleeding at the knuckles.

“Uh, hey,” Emily says, her eyebrows furrowing. “Do you want a Bandaid? I have one in my backpack.”

The girl glances over at her. “Uh. Sure?” 

Emily digs in her backpack and hands over one of the Bandaids she keeps in there for emergencies. She rips the paper off and grips it by the sticky part, holding it out. The girl chuckles a little and offers her hand. Emily gently sticks the Bandaid on, smoothing it down carefully.

“Thanks,” the girl says, her voice kind of soft and questioning. “This uh, doesn’t really fall in line with the kind of day I’m having.”

Emily hums sympathetically. “Bad one?”

“Kind of…” the girl says. 

“Yeah, me too.” Emily sighs. “I almost lost my homework and a bus drove by and splashed me with this water and I’m still like ten blocks from home and I have water in my shoes! Also, I’m cold and covered in like, sewer water.”

The girl frowns. “Gross dude.”

“I know.” Emily pouts and the girl chuckles. 

“Here, you can like, wear my jacket for a bit to warm up.”

Emily gives her a wide-eyed look. “Are you sure? I mean like, I’m a stranger and that’s a nice jacket.”

The girl shrugs. “I mean, I was just running because, well long story, but I’m really hot, and you gave me this Bandaid, so it’s the least I can do.”

She hands over the jacket and Emily reluctantly takes it, wrapping it around her shoulders.

It smells really good.

//

“OH MY GOODNESS!” Chloe’s crying and dabbing at her cheeks with a tissue. “THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.”

Amy rolls her eyes.

//

“Thanks. I’m Emily,” the girl says, and Beca feels her heart flutter in her chest.

The girl - Emily - looks really good in her jacket, even if she kind of seems like a drowned puppy currently. Her hair is all damp and her mascara is runny, but her eyes… they’re so… alive. Beca’s stomach flips.

“Uh, Beca.” She sticks out her good hand and Emily shakes it, a smile lighting up her face. 

“So why were you running, Beca?”

Beca doesn’t know why she tells - she doesn’t know this girl - but maybe it’s the jacket and her luminescent smile and they way the moment for some reason feels like a bunch of things clicking into place. So she tells Emily all about her interview and how she kept feeling like she had deja vu and then how she punched that guy and maybe almost got arrested.

Emily widens her eyes at all the right parts and laughs when Beca describes the random stranger she punched and Beca feels all the right kinds of perfect, until suddenly Emily’s holding her jacket out and saying she has to go. 

Then she feels disappointed.

“Uh.” Beca stares at the jacket. And stares at Emily. And her mouth just like… does things by itself. “Why don’t you just wear it?”

Emily blinks. “What?”

“I mean,” Beca coughs, heat rising to her cheeks. “It looks like you need it more than I do right now, so I can just get it back from you later. Or something?”

Stupid Beca.

“How?”

“Well, how about you give me your number? And I can just text you to meet again?”

… Smooth… Beca?

That’s unexpected.

Emily tilts her head to the side, studying Beca with playful eyes. 

“Yeah,” she says eventually. “Yeah, okay.”

And she puts her number in Beca’s phone, then drapes Beca’s jacket over her shoulders and shoves her hands in the pockets.

It’s a little short on her, but in a good way. Beca swoons a little.

And that’s saying something because Beca Mitchell does  _ not _ swoon.

“I’ll text you then,” Beca says and then Emily’s smiling and leaving and Beca’s watching her go and definitely liking the view.

//

“What?” Amy’s jaw drops. “That’s  _ it _ ? They’re just… going home?!”

Stacie gives her a look. “Well it’s just The Meeting. What were you expecting? Marriage?”

“They’re so boring,” Amy groans.

“They’re so  _ cute! _ ” Chloe gushes.

Amy doesn’t know about that, but looking at the control panel and watching that girl skip home in her Human’s cool leather jacket… Amy’s suddenly feeling a little protective.

That giggling moron better not hurt her Human. Amy is certain about that. 

If she does, even divine intervention won’t save her.

 

**Author's Note:**

> emilyjunk.tumblr.com... thanks for reading


End file.
